The “Couple Notion” is a Myth
We naturally think a couple is made of two people and for good reasons. When two individuals start being romantically involved and choose to be together, this notion of “couple,” or a pair of people teaming up on their life’s journey, takes form in our minds. Intuitively, we begin thinking of a new relationship as an ensemble of two folks. Right? Well, we think it’s false. The “Couple Notion” is a Myth.
You see when a couple gets formed, the new “unit” may look like it is a party of two, but the reality is very different. It’s more a group than anything else; it’s an extension of two. Both partners are bringing all kinds of folks along for the ride: parents, friends, siblings, work colleagues, maybe children, extended family members, ex’s, fellow college students, etc. And that group will change for sure as the couple lives on. Some new members will be added while others will simply leave. However, the couple’s reality is that its core group members will stick around and, like it or not, will have an influence on the couple’s relationship.
Soooooo… since a couple is truly an ensemble composed of a group of people, why are we surprised of its complexity? Look, human beings are emotional containers. We all start off the ride with what God has
already poured in us, but as we go on, we continue to fill up our emotional containers with layers of physical and spiritual experiences. Some of these layers obviously get thicker than others and simply carry more sensitive weight. That’s why the fabric of it all makes up for who we are, or as many say, the product of our environment is simply “who we end up being.”
That’s why we need to be conscious of that if we intend to see our relationship flourish. To be clear, we are not advocating that you should kick out all of your acquaintances and focus solely on your partner. In fact, it’s not only good to be inclusive and share our lives with others, it is also a responsibility. But what we are saying is that at one point, we all need to step back and remember what made us a couple at the first place! The plain reality is that we did not fall in love with our significant other’s group members. We loved the other person first and then came the crowd… If you truly care about your relationship, at one point it is very healthy to take time to step back together, just you two without the entourage. And with the summer in full bloom, it is a great opportunity to isolate “couples only time.” A time for love rejuvenation!