I mean come the end of October and, even as grownups, we set our sights and expectations towards Halloween Parties. Every year we get to wonder if we should follow a pop culture trend for our costume, or choose a more solemn theme like a Presidential Campaign candidate… After all, colorful costumes always seem to steal the votes.

As Love Guides though, we tend to always look at seasonal events with a different set of glasses. And although Halloween is not as emotionally charged for singles as the Holidays are, we can’t help to draw a parallel with what we’ll call the “disguise factor.”

Too often we see single people so desperate for companionship that they will go to great lengths to try to impersonate someone that they’re not. Often unbeknownst to them, they unconsciously wear a disguise that’s burying their true gift: their “love-worth.” With that in mind, allow us to push the allegory a little.

Here are 3 disguises that could be good for your Halloween party but harmful to help you find a fulfilling relationship.

1. The Pleaser Disguise

   When we hide our true self at the beginning of a relationship we tend to do it for two reasons: we want to please the new partner with our phoney charm, and we want to hang around without totally engaging. So let’s question the veracity of our intentions here. What are we really after?

2. The Lonely Freak Disguise
   

   That’s the Fear of Being or Staying Alone disguise.
   It is nothing more than a lack of faith and a lack of confidence. The irony with this one is… we wear it, but… we are seldom alone! We typically jump from one relationship to another without ever questioning why we can’t seem to find a lasting relationship. Yet, from one time to another, we expect different results.

   

3. The “Rejectee” Disguise
   

   This is a very popular costume. Many of us have been wearing it since childhood. Others have tried it on later in life. But in either case, the scars often look fresh. Many experts say that if you once experienced an “emotional rejection,” you are very likely to try to avoid it at all costs in your new relationships. This of course includes our love life. FEAR of Rejection victims would rather give up and stay alone than even try to find a suitable mate. It’s a lethal disguise.
   

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   FEAR of Rejection can be a lethal disguise. Victims would rather give up and stay alone than even…
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Sadly, when we build a relationship on a faulty foundation, it’s destined to collapse. We need to reconcile who we are with the fake personas we are putting on from time to time.
What’s the purpose behind our disguises? Manipulation? Fear? Low self-esteem? Remember, there’s a big distinction to be made between wearing a gaudy costume on Halloween and covering up one’s true identity for the rest of the year.

With that in mind, we hope you’ll enjoy the sight of smirky faces, friendly ghosts and 3-foot tall witches on October 31^st! We sure will.

The post Do Singles Use Halloween Costumes to Disguise from Love? appeared first on ReLovenship - Find Love Again | Relationship Coaches & Love Guides - Mario P. Cloutier & Diane Sawaya-Cloutier.